The Importance of Sleep
Interesting Sleep Facts
- Sea otters hold hands while sleeping to keep from floating away from each other.
- Humans can survive longer without food than without sleep.
- The brain consolidates, strengthens, reorganizes, and restructures memories and new skills while sleeping.
- Humans are the only mammal that voluntarily delays sleep.
- Scientists do not know for certain why we sleep.
Sleep affects every aspect of our lives.
The quality and duration of sleep significantly impacts mental health, physical health, learning, and development. Despite its crucial importance, nearly 1/3 of adults and kids do not get enough sleep.
Poor sleep hygiene, lifestyle, obligations, sleep disorders, and other medical conditions are all contributing factors to lack of sleep. However, one of the greatest contributing factors is underappreciation of just how impactful sleep is on overall functioning.
Five Ways to Improve Sleep Quality and Duration:
1.Increase exposure to sunlight, especially in the morning.
2.Engage in frequent movement, stretching, and exercise throughout the day.
3.Reduce exposure to artificial lights and screens.
4.Maintain a consistent wake and bedtime schedule, even on weekends.
5.Spend time relaxing before bed (without a screen).
Give these a try for a more restful, productive, and enjoyable work or school experience.
Hope you have a fabulous fall!
-Dr. Katen
©2023 Individual Matters. All rights reserved. Feel free to republish so long as credit is given.
Individual Matters® is a registered trademark of Individual Matters, LLC
- Published in Development, Healthy Living, Managing Stress, Parenting, Successful Living
Structured Free-Play: Getting the Most Out of Your Summer
The arrival of summer promises a significant increase in unstructured time for our children. In many ways, this is a good thing. Unstructured time encourages creativity, decision-making, self-regulation, builds resilience, and provides an opportunity to “let off steam.” It also supports sensory integration through neuro-motor development.
According to one study, children who spent more time in less structured activities displayed better self-directed control and executive functioning than kids in primarily adult-organized or -directed activities (such as sports, art class, parent-led playdates, etc.). Although I cannot help but wonder if the children in the study who spent more time in less structured activities, were inherently better at self-direction and self-management (it’s the old chicken or the egg debate)…
While unstructured play has it’s benefits, at the same time, unstructured and unsupervised hours/days can quickly turn into free-for-alls that stress out parents and lead to unsafe or unhealthy behaviors in kids. If left to their own devices, many children might choose to eat candy for breakfast and dinner, play video games all day (and night), forget to change their underwear, “redecorate” the living room walls, and leave the dog to fend for itself.
So, what is a reasonable middle ground between control and chaos? The answer is: Structured Free Play.
Free play does not have to mean a free-for-all! A pet analogy may be helpful here. When your dog needs exercise, you likely do not open the front door and let them run free. Instead, you may take your dog to the dog park, where they are fenced, surrounded by their peers, and have access to all the items they need to play. This activity also includes time limitations and passive supervision (not control). The result is a safe and appropriate environment that allows dogs freedom to fulfill their physical, emotional, and cognitive needs. If the environment becomes unsafe or your dog cannot handle it, then you move toward a smaller more manageable space with carefully chosen “peers” and toys.
Structured Free Play offers a reasonable middle ground between control and chaos.
Similarly, kids need time and space to develop skills related to self-direction, decision-making, creativity, self-management, and an array of other executive functioning skills…and such skills are best fostered within a developmentally appropriate environment that strikes a balance between structure and self-directed play.
This summer, I invite you to integrate structured free play into your schedule. Yes, it takes more pre-planning on the part of the adult, but the results are worth it!
To help decide whether an activity strikes that balance between adult-lead and free for-all, you might ask yourself:
- Does it provide me with an opportunity to supervise but not directly lead and guide the activity? (Similar to a lifeguard at the pool)?
- Does it allow me to detach from the outcome (aside from physical safety)?
- Are the parameters and behavioral/safety considerations clearly outlined in advanced and within the child’s ability (developmental level) to follow without constant redirection?
Here are some examples of structured free play:
- Rotating stations with open-ended activities
- Playing at the pool or beach
- Going to the outdoor park, a waterpark, or the trampoline park
- Going to a (children’s) museum
- Scavenger hunts (created and completed by kids)
- Parallel play (reading, painting, puzzles, cloud gazing)
- Child-lead games and boardgames
- Child-lead hike/nature exploration
- Crafting and open-ended art projects
- Independent play time (free from screens) in the child’s room, playroom, or backyard.
A few final points to keep in mind:
- Scaffold your child’s free play success by scheduling it into the day or summer schedule.
- Keep in mind that if this approach is new to your kids (or you), there may be an adjustment period. Anxiety-based behavior typically means your approach is working, and that the child is learning new skills.
- If the child cannot handle the activity, look to provide increased structure and pre-planning at the onset. In other words, shrink the space, reduce options, and carefully handpick participants. You will know you have struck the right balance when the child is successful in directing his/her focus in an appropriate manner and you have detached from the outcome. The key is to resist the urge to direct his/her focus and play.
For less stress and more fun, give structured free play a try this summer! If you’re up for a real challenge, create space for your own structured fee play! Sometimes adults struggle more with free time than kids!
Hope you have a fabulous summer!
-Dr. Katen
©2023 Individual Matters. All rights reserved. Feel free to republish so long as credit is given.
Individual Matters® is a registered trademark of Individual Matters, LLC.
- Published in Behavior Management, Development, Dr. Katen's Blog, Healthy Living, Parenting, Successful Living
Stress is No Laughing Matter… Or is it?
While stress affects the whole person negatively, laughter affects the whole person positively! The old saying really is true, laughter is the best medicine!
Depending on the study, kids laughs somewhere between 300-400 times per day. In stark contrast, the average adult laughs only 4-17 times per day! How sad is that?! This is especially sad because laughter has seriously awesome (and scientifically documented) short- and long-term benefits for the mind, body and spirit!
To help put some chuckles back in your life, here is a link to a video that will guided you in a short but effective yoga session.
However, this is not the kind of yoga you are used to!
Please take a minute to click on the link and follow along. Don’t just watch the clip…participate and follow along! I promise you it is worth it! Who knows, you just may find yourself smiling, or even better, laughing! Feel free to share with your students, family, and friends. When groups or families complete the session together, it really gets the laughter juices flowing!
-Dr. Katen
©2023 Individual Matters. All rights reserved. Feel free to republish so long as credit is given.
Individual Matters® is a registered trademark of Individual Matters, LLC.
- Published in Dr. Katen's Blog, Healthy Living, Parenting, Successful Living
The Power of Boredom
“I’m bored.” We’ve all heard this complaint from children. What do these words mean, and what’s a helpful response?
The causes of boredom in children are many and diverse, ranging from low interest in a particular activity or subject, high energy (without knowing where to direct it), perceived lack of control in an adult-driven world, desire for novelty, anxiety, feeling under/over challenged, and attention and learning problems. While it’s no surprise that under-stimulation can lead to boredom, so can schedules that are too full and busy. Another factor may be “screentime,” which has been linked to sleep deprivation, “trimming” of unused neural connections, and compulsive behavior driven by variable reinforcement (aka the “Vegas effect”).

Occasional boredom is not a bad thing.
But regardless of its cause, occasional boredom is not a bad thing. In fact, for children whose minds are developing, it may be especially healthy and rewarding.
For one thing, taking a break from an information-overloaded world may be beneficial to mental health. Also, being bored provides an opportunity to wonder and daydream – a sort of “call to adventure” that fosters curiosity and inspires new ideas. Studies have shown that daydreaming can lead to increased creativity by stimulating divergent or “outside the box” thinking. Finally, managing boredom may help children develop important executive functioning skills (planning, organization, focus, self-control). Rather than relying upon external stimuli to keep them occupied, they get an opportunity to explore their own interests, set personal “goals”, and experiment with ways to pursue them.
So, the next time your child says, “I’m bored,” just roll with it! Allow the child to be bored and see what happens. Yes, there may be a period of adjustment…but give them a chance to learn how to self-direct, to create, to daydream, and to explore possibilities!
-Dr. Katen
©2023 Individual Matters. All rights reserved. Feel free to republish so long as credit is given.
The Power of Suggestion
Words have power! The messages transmitted from a parent or teacher to a child become deeply embedded in the child’s beliefs. Essentially, words are hypnotic.

Words are hypnotic.
Hypnosis has a mysterious reputation, and one popular belief about it is entirely false: that it involves someone taking control over another’s mind. The reality is that hypnosis works only by the power of suggestion, and at no time does a hypnotized individual lose their free will. During hypnosis, an individual is eased into a state of mental receptiveness or suggestibility, and then a transformative verbal message is repeated. The goal is to program new ideas into the subconsciousness to change behavior.
The words we tell our children are hypnotic. Given their early development and the great trust they place in us as parents and teachers, children are already in a highly suggestive state. Therefore, we must be intentional with our messages. Do our words convey belief that they are good, smart, loving and capable? Or do we feed their subconscious minds with notions of naughtiness, laziness, and incompetence?
For example, halfway to school in the morning, a child says, “Oh no, I forgot my book!” As parents, we may reply: “Why are you always forgetting things? You don’t remember anything.” Or we can reply, “Well done, you remembered your book. You always remember.” Both are transformative messages conveyed in a vulnerable (suggestive) mental state. Which message would we like our children to encode?
The point to be made is simply the power of our words… As parents and teachers, we are like hypnotists, and with every statement to our children we are feeding their self-images and molding their subconscious. So be intentional with your message. Suggest only what you want the child to believe!
-Dr. Katen
©2023 Individual Matters. All rights reserved. Feel free to republish so long as credit is given.
- Published in Behavior Management, Development, Dr. Katen's Blog, Healthy Living, Parenting, Relationships, Successful Living, Teaching
Supporting Student Self-Advocacy: Five Simple Steps
In a previous post, I touched on the importance of self-advocacy and how to support students with developing this skill. By “self-advocacy,” I’m referring to a student’s ability to speak up for him/herself to get a need met or problem solved at school (versus promoting personal, personal, or religious ideas or beliefs to others). In terms of school and life success, self-advocacy is inseparable from personal responsibility.

“Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself.” – Unknown
Here are five simple steps for helping students develop self-advocacy skills for school:
- Discuss and define what it is. Make self-advocacy a regular part of classroom and home conversation. Adults can share ways they have (or have not) self-advocated in their education, jobs, and everyday lives.
- Validate, validate, validate. Sympathy and understanding are key when responding to a self-advocating individual. Critical or belittling reactions will shut down this process.
- Make a plan. How can a student ask for help, explanation, or permission? Is there a particularly “safe” teacher with which to begin practicing this skill? If so, communicate with them in advance. Rehearse the process at home. Then give it a try.
- Reinforce and review. How did the self-advocacy experience go? What worked and what didn’t? How did it feel before, during, and after? Compare notes with the teacher. Also, what positive reinforcement can teachers and parents implement to help sustain this behavior in the student?
- Return to step 1. Self-advocacy never stops. Successful individuals are continually evaluating their own strengths and weaknesses and responsibly communicating (not demanding or imposing) their needs to others.
Remember, self-advocacy is a skill. For mastery, it must be learned, practiced, and repeated!
-Dr. Katen
©2022 Individual Matters, LLC. All rights reserved. Feel free to republish so long as credit is given.
- Published in Development, Dr. Katen's Blog, Healthy Living, Parenting, Self Advocacy, Successful Living
Hellos and Goodbyes

Be intentional with your “hellos” and “goodbyes.”
Every day when I return home from work, my two adorable dogs jump around madly, wag their tails, and spin in circles until I pick them up and love on them. Then, when it is time to leave again in the morning, they walk me to the door and wag their tails goodbye.
Have you ever sat at the airport and watched family members excitedly greet their loved ones after a long trip or tearfully say goodbye as they head off to the gate? Do you remember the first time you dropped your child off at preschool, and then later that day when you picked them up? At drop off, maybe the hug lingered a bit longer, there were some tears, and their little hand waved in the window until they could no longer see your car driving away. Then at pick up, they ran to you bursting with excitement saying, “Mommy, mommy, mommy!” and you held out your arms ready to be reunited after 3 long hours apart!
As I reflect on such moments, I am reminded of the power of “hellos” and “goodbyes.” What if everywhere we went, greetings were traded with such genuine affection and love. And then, when it was time to part, hugs lasted a little longer and there was one more, “I love you.”
Life is busy. Wake up, eat breakfast, grab your bag, zip off to school, make it just in time…finish your day, head home, eat, go to practice, eat again, bathe, homework, bedtime, sleep…then it all starts again. It can be hard to connect and be present when life moves fast, when there are long to-do lists, early start times, and hard deadlines. However, no matter how busy the day, how crazy the schedule, or how stressful the week… when the ‘hellos’ and ‘goodbyes’ are solid, everything that happens in between can be managed.
This week’s challenge: Be intentional with your “hellos” and “goodbyes.” Greet your spouse like you used to when you first started dating. Say goodbye like they are leaving for a long trip. Drop off and pick up your child like you did on that first day of preschool…yes, even your middle schooler! Maybe don’t run at them with open arms and tears in your eyes…but be intentional. Be present. Be in the moment…even it it is just for a moment.
-Dr. Katen
©2021 Individual Matters, LLC. All rights reserved. Feel free to republish so long as credit is given.
- Published in Dr. Katen's Blog, Healthy Living, Parenting, Relationships, Successful Living