Who doesn’t love to be recognized and praised for their accomplishments?

Genuine compliments and positive recognition improve our moods, inspire cooperation and hard work, and increase motivation. Why is this so?

Praise is contagious, builds confidence, and can inspire great things.

Scientific studies show that praise triggers the brain’s release of dopamine:  a “feel good” neurotransmitter that is strongly associated with pleasure, reward, and motivation. Dopamine affects the entire body, from blood flow and digestion to memory and sleep.  It also raises alertness and focus.

Here is an interesting fact: Even the anticipation of a reward raises dopamine levels. In other words, just the expectation of the feeling creates the same effect as experiencing it.  Because praise feels good, people will repeat whatever action invited it. The desire for another dopamine release leads them to continue the behavior and habits that initially earned them the compliment. Thus, praise is an example of positive reinforcement – a technique for getting more of a desired behavior.

Here is another interesting fact: it’s not only those who receive praise that feel better. People who give praise also experience the feel-good effects! Sincere statements of admiration and approval benefit both the giver and receiver, making it an invaluable way to improve relationships and stimulate positive and friendly attitudes.

What we focus on, we often get more of.  Praise is contagious, builds confidence, and can inspire great things.  By pointing out the desired traits and the actions of others, you are guaranteed to get more of them!  And along the way, you too, will feel it’s power!

When giving praise, keep in mind these six 6 tips:

1.Be sincere.

2.Be specific.

3.Be immediate.

4.Praise often.

5.Praise persistence, effort, originality, and creativity.

6.Praise to inspire.

Try these out, and as always — have fun!

Dr. Katen

Kids are awesome and amazing little creatures! Yet we adults often get so caught up in managing the everyday hussle, bustle, and stresses of busy lives (especially during the holidays) that we tend to get bogged down by the things that go “wrong.”  As a result, we may lose sight of the positives, such as what our kids do well and what we love most about them.   How often do we communicate to our children, with words and actions, how amazing, unique, and truly wonderful they are?

“Your words become their inner voice.” – Unknown

Let’s try a little exercise.  Grab your phone or some scratch paper. Jot down the names of your kids, and under each name list the following:

• Your 3 favorite things about him/her.
• 2 things he/she is skilled at.
• 2 heart-warming or funny memories.

Now let’s reflect. Was this exercise easy for you, or did it force you to really dig deep? Were you smiling or laughing while you thought about your child? Does your child know that you appreciate all these things about him/her? If not, go tell ‘em!

If you already tell your kids what you love about them, keep it up!  Everybody loves praise and compliments (although, ironically, most of us – and kids, especially –receive more criticism and correction). Our moods and feelings tend to follow our words and what we focus on.  Feeling good is contagious.  Positive feelings are central to building positive relationships, and positive relationships are the foundation of happy, healthy, and responsible kids.

Here is the Holiday Challenge:

Over the break, strive to remind your kids how awesome they are. Not only will doing so help them feel good, but this simple act of complimenting will also improve your mood and create a “ripple effect” through your family system.

In addition to your kids, you may also choose to make yourself, your spouse, or a “difficult” relative the focus of your positivity!

Hope you have a wonderful holiday season!

-Dr. Katen

©2021 Individual Matters, LLC. All rights reserved. Feel free to republish so long as credit is given.